Last week at work one of my coworkers asked me, 'Do you always smile?'. I was caught off guard but I quickly answered with, 'When I can, I do.'. Then the next question, 'Why?'. So later that day my coworker and I had a 15 minute break at the same time and I answered her question...
6 years ago I was faced with hearing words that no parent would want to hear. I was put on a Momma Journey that no Momma should have to endure. I watched my 8 month old princess receive chemotherapy, radiation and many surgeries. I witnessed many sad faces, angry faces and stunned faces on the 7th floor/pediatric oncology of the old children's hospital. I slept on hospital floors and rocked babies to sleep that did not have and family visit them. I witnessed many Momma's having to say goodbye to their child. I witnessed my princess go through so many aggressive treatments. I watched my son have to endure his baby sisters pain.
Why do I smile? Because I can. I work at Macy's in the mall. I smile at every customer bc 6 years ago I would go to the mall to escape my nightmare, my journey. I would walk the mall and just take it all in. Now I look at people's faces and wonder what if they are in the midst of their storm, their nightmare. What if my smile can lighten their heart and their worries? Just a smile! I then think about how blessed my life is, how amazing is our GOD we serve. Do I always want to smile...No. But I feel I have a responsibility to more than just my family. Some people look at me like I have a 3rd eye when I greet them with, 'Hello, how are you?' And a smile. That reaction from a customer is the exact reason I will never stop smiling. I think about all the smiles that I was greeted with in the last 6 years and I am thankful. Those smiles softened my angry and sad heart.
Do you smile enough? Be aware of your expressions and I know you will bless others with Just a smile.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Excuses, Excuses
She's tired....He has a lot on his mind....The other kids weren't being nice...I'm sure I could go on and on with excuses we make for our kids when they aren't behaving, the way we as their parents, think they should.
First of all kids will be kids and that will never change, but are we as parents creating children that are not held accountable for their behaviors? I was faced head on with this question last week. As a mom of a almost 10 year old boy and a 6 going on 13 year old girl I find myself making excuses for them. I have lots of excuses for my daughters behavior but it hit me last week...how am I molding her or helping her to grow if my excuses continue to hold her back. It will be 6 years this June that My daughter was diagnosed with a rare pediatric cancer. She was only 8 months old so for most of her life she has been through more than any adult. I am pretty sure that is why I continually make excuses for her behavior. I had scheduled 3 Doctor appoints for her in one day, now that she is in school it's easier to get them all over with. 2 out of the 3 appointments were very stressful for her and I could see her anxiety building while in the waiting rooms. Our first stop was at the dermatologist who was a friendly as can be. She knew my daughters medical background so I did not have to repeat aloud while My daughter was in the room. Well, my daughter refused to let the doctor look at her leg where the skin had been irritated. The doctor then went on to talk sweetly, 'I care about you and you your skin on your leg. I am worried about your leg.' I could see it building in my daughters eyes and all of a sudden she says, 'Why don't you worry about your own leg. My skin is fine.' I think I stopped breathing for a while and then I gasped loudly. I apologized, 'I am so sorry. She has been through so much and she is nervous about doctors.' UGH! That is when it HIT me...how will she ever get past her fears, her anxieties and her inappropriate behavior if I continue to make excuses?
So I began thinking about gold and how precious gold is and the process of refining gold. At first gold has lots of layers before it begins to shine. But in order to get that shine the gold is thrown into fire and the impurities are released. Throughout our cancer journey we were thrown into situations that could be thought of as fire...maybe your child is angry because he or she comes from a divorced home, that is their fire. When they come out of that fire how do we treat them? How do we allow them to grow? I can tell you that when my daughter finished chemotherapy my excuses began. She was out of the fire and I kept putting the layers back on. I was making excuses instead of making her understand that her behavior was unacceptable. I know we want to protect our children but making excuses is only weakening them.
How was I going to peel back my daughters layers...allow her to start shining without excuses?? That day last week after we arrived home from all of her appointments and after I opened a bottle of wine I sat down with my daughter and explained to her that her behavior was unacceptable. I then punished her and followed through with the punishment for the first time in 6 years.
I know it is a work in progress but I know that by eliminating excuses I am eliminating layers for myself and for my children. When talking to my kids about excuses my son totally shocked me by saying, 'Mom the first sin was an excuse.' He went on to tell me that he had learned this in is Sunday School class. He told us how in Genesis 3:11-13 God asked Adam why did he eat the apple, Adam blamed Eve. That was Adam's excuse and he never took responsibility for his actions. Taking responsibility, being held accountable...praying I can continue to hold strong and eliminate excuses, excuses.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
First of all kids will be kids and that will never change, but are we as parents creating children that are not held accountable for their behaviors? I was faced head on with this question last week. As a mom of a almost 10 year old boy and a 6 going on 13 year old girl I find myself making excuses for them. I have lots of excuses for my daughters behavior but it hit me last week...how am I molding her or helping her to grow if my excuses continue to hold her back. It will be 6 years this June that My daughter was diagnosed with a rare pediatric cancer. She was only 8 months old so for most of her life she has been through more than any adult. I am pretty sure that is why I continually make excuses for her behavior. I had scheduled 3 Doctor appoints for her in one day, now that she is in school it's easier to get them all over with. 2 out of the 3 appointments were very stressful for her and I could see her anxiety building while in the waiting rooms. Our first stop was at the dermatologist who was a friendly as can be. She knew my daughters medical background so I did not have to repeat aloud while My daughter was in the room. Well, my daughter refused to let the doctor look at her leg where the skin had been irritated. The doctor then went on to talk sweetly, 'I care about you and you your skin on your leg. I am worried about your leg.' I could see it building in my daughters eyes and all of a sudden she says, 'Why don't you worry about your own leg. My skin is fine.' I think I stopped breathing for a while and then I gasped loudly. I apologized, 'I am so sorry. She has been through so much and she is nervous about doctors.' UGH! That is when it HIT me...how will she ever get past her fears, her anxieties and her inappropriate behavior if I continue to make excuses?
So I began thinking about gold and how precious gold is and the process of refining gold. At first gold has lots of layers before it begins to shine. But in order to get that shine the gold is thrown into fire and the impurities are released. Throughout our cancer journey we were thrown into situations that could be thought of as fire...maybe your child is angry because he or she comes from a divorced home, that is their fire. When they come out of that fire how do we treat them? How do we allow them to grow? I can tell you that when my daughter finished chemotherapy my excuses began. She was out of the fire and I kept putting the layers back on. I was making excuses instead of making her understand that her behavior was unacceptable. I know we want to protect our children but making excuses is only weakening them.
How was I going to peel back my daughters layers...allow her to start shining without excuses?? That day last week after we arrived home from all of her appointments and after I opened a bottle of wine I sat down with my daughter and explained to her that her behavior was unacceptable. I then punished her and followed through with the punishment for the first time in 6 years.
I know it is a work in progress but I know that by eliminating excuses I am eliminating layers for myself and for my children. When talking to my kids about excuses my son totally shocked me by saying, 'Mom the first sin was an excuse.' He went on to tell me that he had learned this in is Sunday School class. He told us how in Genesis 3:11-13 God asked Adam why did he eat the apple, Adam blamed Eve. That was Adam's excuse and he never took responsibility for his actions. Taking responsibility, being held accountable...praying I can continue to hold strong and eliminate excuses, excuses.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Excuses, Excuses
She's tired....He has a lot on his mind....The other kids weren't being nice...I'm sure I could go on and on with excuses we make for our kids when they aren't behaving, the way we as their parents, think they should.
First of all kids will be kids and that will never change, but are we as parents creating children that are not held accountable for their behaviors? I was faced head on with this question last week. As a mom of a almost 10 year old boy and a 6 going on 13 year old girl I find myself making excuses for them. I have lots of excuses for my daughters behavior but it hit me last week...how am I molding her or helping her to grow if my excuses continue to hold her back. It will be 6 years this June that My daughter was diagnosed with a rare pediatric cancer. She was only 8 months old so for most of her life she has been through more than any adult. I am pretty sure that is why I continually make excuses for her behavior. I had scheduled 3 Doctor appoints for her in one day, now that she is in school it's easier to get them all over with. 2 out of the 3 appointments were very stressful for her and I could see her anxiety building while in the waiting rooms. Our first stop was at the dermatologist who was a friendly as can be. She knew my daughters medical background so I did not have to repeat aloud while My daughter was in the room. Well, my daughter refused to let the doctor look at her leg where the skin had been irritated. The doctor then went on to talk sweetly, 'I care about you and you your skin on your leg. I am worried about your leg.' I could see it building in my daughters eyes and all of a sudden she says, 'Why don't you worry about your own leg. My skin is fine.' I think I stopped breathing for a while and then I gasped loudly. I apologized, 'I am so sorry. She has been through so much and she is nervous about doctors.' UGH! That is when it HIT me...how will she ever get past her fears, her anxieties and her inappropriate behavior if I continue to make excuses?
So I began thinking about gold and how precious gold is and the process of refining gold. At first gold has lots of layers before it begins to shine. But in order to get that shine the gold is thrown into fire and the impurities are released. Throughout our cancer journey we were thrown into situations that could be thought of as fire...maybe your child is angry because he or she comes from a divorced home, that is their fire. When they come out of that fire how do we treat them? How do we allow them to grow? I can tell you that when my daughter finished chemotherapy my excuses began. She was out of the fire and I kept putting the layers back on. I was making excuses instead of making her understand that her behavior was unacceptable. I know we want to protect our children but making excuses is only weakening them.
How was I going to peel back my daughters layers...allow her to start shining without excuses?? That day last week after we arrived home from all of her appointments and after I opened a bottle of wine I sat down with my daughter and explained to her that her behavior was unacceptable. I then punished her and followed through with the punishment for the first time in 6 years.
I know it is a work in progress but I know that by eliminating excuses I am eliminating layers for myself and for my children. When talking to my kids about excuses my son totally shocked me by saying, 'Mom the first sin was an excuse.' He went on to tell me that he had learned this in is Sunday School class. He told us how in Genesis 3:11-13 God asked Adam why did he eat the apple, Adam blamed Eve. That was Adam's excuse and he never took responsibility for his actions. Taking responsibility, being held accountable...praying I can continue to hold strong and eliminate excuses, excuses.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
First of all kids will be kids and that will never change, but are we as parents creating children that are not held accountable for their behaviors? I was faced head on with this question last week. As a mom of a almost 10 year old boy and a 6 going on 13 year old girl I find myself making excuses for them. I have lots of excuses for my daughters behavior but it hit me last week...how am I molding her or helping her to grow if my excuses continue to hold her back. It will be 6 years this June that My daughter was diagnosed with a rare pediatric cancer. She was only 8 months old so for most of her life she has been through more than any adult. I am pretty sure that is why I continually make excuses for her behavior. I had scheduled 3 Doctor appoints for her in one day, now that she is in school it's easier to get them all over with. 2 out of the 3 appointments were very stressful for her and I could see her anxiety building while in the waiting rooms. Our first stop was at the dermatologist who was a friendly as can be. She knew my daughters medical background so I did not have to repeat aloud while My daughter was in the room. Well, my daughter refused to let the doctor look at her leg where the skin had been irritated. The doctor then went on to talk sweetly, 'I care about you and you your skin on your leg. I am worried about your leg.' I could see it building in my daughters eyes and all of a sudden she says, 'Why don't you worry about your own leg. My skin is fine.' I think I stopped breathing for a while and then I gasped loudly. I apologized, 'I am so sorry. She has been through so much and she is nervous about doctors.' UGH! That is when it HIT me...how will she ever get past her fears, her anxieties and her inappropriate behavior if I continue to make excuses?
So I began thinking about gold and how precious gold is and the process of refining gold. At first gold has lots of layers before it begins to shine. But in order to get that shine the gold is thrown into fire and the impurities are released. Throughout our cancer journey we were thrown into situations that could be thought of as fire...maybe your child is angry because he or she comes from a divorced home, that is their fire. When they come out of that fire how do we treat them? How do we allow them to grow? I can tell you that when my daughter finished chemotherapy my excuses began. She was out of the fire and I kept putting the layers back on. I was making excuses instead of making her understand that her behavior was unacceptable. I know we want to protect our children but making excuses is only weakening them.
How was I going to peel back my daughters layers...allow her to start shining without excuses?? That day last week after we arrived home from all of her appointments and after I opened a bottle of wine I sat down with my daughter and explained to her that her behavior was unacceptable. I then punished her and followed through with the punishment for the first time in 6 years.
I know it is a work in progress but I know that by eliminating excuses I am eliminating layers for myself and for my children. When talking to my kids about excuses my son totally shocked me by saying, 'Mom the first sin was an excuse.' He went on to tell me that he had learned this in is Sunday School class. He told us how in Genesis 3:11-13 God asked Adam why did he eat the apple, Adam blamed Eve. That was Adam's excuse and he never took responsibility for his actions. Taking responsibility, being held accountable...praying I can continue to hold strong and eliminate excuses, excuses.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Holding tongues and embracing enemies
Walk away, retaliate, they were never your friend in the first place, ignore them... the list goes on and on. These are words we tell our child when defending themselves against a bully or against the mean kid. I am very much at fault for this. After several conversations with friends and family members on this topic I dug deep into the LORD's word and found that I ask my children to believe in the LORD and themselves, BUT my words of advice told them the exact opposite. I started researching what the bible says about our enemies and what we should do.
Luke 6:27
"But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you."
Romans 12:20-21
"If your enemy is hungry, feed them; if he is thirsty, give them something to drink...Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.'
Oh boy, I sat and really had to ponder how I was going to translate this to our kids and in my life for that matter.
It went a little something like this...the LORD puts us on our journey to prepare us to be Kings and Queens for HIS majesty. As a parent we are molding and shaping our child to turn from princes and princesses to Kings and Queens. So we drag them to church and we make them listen to the word but are we hearing the LORD'S words and are we living as HIS kings and Queens? What are we instilling in our children?
My son was having a hard time in school with a particular child and I used every negative and positive advice I thought I could. While sitting alone on Monday night it hit me...embracing an enemy and holding your tongue. I approached my son again about this certain topic and I led with these words...
Son your are a child of GOD and everything that you do and everything that you say is a reflection of HIM. When another child hurts you or causes you sadness, pray for them. When they use their tongues to try to break you down, you use your smile and lean on the LORD. Do not get angry, do not say hurtful or negative things back. I have raised you to honor GOD and live as HE would. I know you will make mistakes and I know you will travel roads that I would never want you on...BUT the LORD is in you and I trust that you will make the right choices because HE is in your heart.
Holding our tongues and embracing our enemies is very hard, especially for this Italian woman. But if we practice this, the enemy will see our light that is shining for the LORD. Of course no child should ever be bullied and adults should be notified but I am speaking about your child's heart and what you can put into that heart so that no enemy can defeat that child.
We can raise warriors that are strong and can fight back with a vengeance or we can raise Christ's Warriors that have faith in the LORD's word and faith in what the LORD has placed in their heart.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Luke 6:27
"But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you."
Romans 12:20-21
"If your enemy is hungry, feed them; if he is thirsty, give them something to drink...Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.'
Oh boy, I sat and really had to ponder how I was going to translate this to our kids and in my life for that matter.
It went a little something like this...the LORD puts us on our journey to prepare us to be Kings and Queens for HIS majesty. As a parent we are molding and shaping our child to turn from princes and princesses to Kings and Queens. So we drag them to church and we make them listen to the word but are we hearing the LORD'S words and are we living as HIS kings and Queens? What are we instilling in our children?
My son was having a hard time in school with a particular child and I used every negative and positive advice I thought I could. While sitting alone on Monday night it hit me...embracing an enemy and holding your tongue. I approached my son again about this certain topic and I led with these words...
Son your are a child of GOD and everything that you do and everything that you say is a reflection of HIM. When another child hurts you or causes you sadness, pray for them. When they use their tongues to try to break you down, you use your smile and lean on the LORD. Do not get angry, do not say hurtful or negative things back. I have raised you to honor GOD and live as HE would. I know you will make mistakes and I know you will travel roads that I would never want you on...BUT the LORD is in you and I trust that you will make the right choices because HE is in your heart.
Holding our tongues and embracing our enemies is very hard, especially for this Italian woman. But if we practice this, the enemy will see our light that is shining for the LORD. Of course no child should ever be bullied and adults should be notified but I am speaking about your child's heart and what you can put into that heart so that no enemy can defeat that child.
We can raise warriors that are strong and can fight back with a vengeance or we can raise Christ's Warriors that have faith in the LORD's word and faith in what the LORD has placed in their heart.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
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